To be perfectly honest…

I really did not expect to get into many schools.  I can only point to God’s grace.  Sure, many of you who don’t know me might think I’m being falsely modest, but believe me, I am not the “modest type.”  My classmates can also vouch for this: all their (backhanded) compliments included some sort of “How?” question or a genuine “Wow, definitely God is good” kind of comment. 🙂

Regardless, I’m in, and it’s hard making decisions.  I’m glad for the freedom that comes from Christ, and the comfort I have in the knowledge that I can rest in His sovereignty and His promises that He “causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”  But in the same sense, I don’t want to make mistakes.  Just because God causes all things to work together for good, doesn’t mean I can go around being dumb.  So, I’m praying for wisdom and praying that God will give people around me wisdom…

My thoughts on paper:

Basically, one day, I just scribbled out all my thoughts on a scrap sheet of paper in my purse, because I just felt my head getting too thoughts-full!

3/9/11 around 7:15pm... waiting for my charleston class...

If you can’t read the above, I’ll lay it out for you.

  • Stanford [STEP]
  • Pros:  Bay Area/EBCB, MA/Cred. program, Avery Loan [a loan forgiveness program], they gave me $$, low cost of living, 12 months, CA teaching job connections
  • Cons: not Harvard  [Hey! I gotta be real – and it would be a lie to say I’m not attracted to that glittery word.]
  • Harvard [GSE Language and Literacy M.Ed]
  • Pros: Harvard!  12 months, Hannah/Janet, Boston!
  • Cons: Only an MA, $?, job?, cost of living, cold, church?
  • Columbia [TC: Elementary Inclusive Education Program]
  • Pros: MA/Cred, Tim Keller [HUGE PRO! HUGE PRO! HUGE PRO!], NY!
  • Cons: 14-16 months, $[$$$$$$], cost of living, cold, NY Credential [hassle to convert it to CA credential]
  • Random bottom notes:
  • Stanford is nice.
  • * So if H’s $ got solved & job got solved … [I’d consider it more]
  • No Columbia.

Current Thoughts

You know, at the start of my whole process, I was very set on Stanford.  It’s in the Bay Area, it’s speedy, and my close friends and church family live here. I applied to Harvard only because I already had my application materials.  And even when I was accepted, I was focusing on other areas of my life, so the news didn’t take center stage.  I am so thankful it didn’t though, since even though it’s big news, education is not my life.

Right now, I am still mulling over whether HGSE is right for me.  I initially applied because I felt that the L&L program would be a great way to connect new studies with classical learning and teaching techniques.  Also, at HGSE, I would be able to take business and policy classes and network.  Lastly, Boston is one of the great pioneers of curriculum and education policy renovation (the other cities are SF and NY).

At STEP, however, I would be able to get a credential, and in order to pay off my loans, I’d be forced to work in the public school system for a while.  And in my opinion, experience trumps expertise.  Plus, it’s home.

As a result, I was reluctant to even explore the website until now (I felt disloyal).  But today, I went to the HGSE information session today in San Francisco and a lot of my concerns were addressed.  It turns out that the program is actually only 10 months long and that jobs shouldn’t be a problem at all (incidentally, the schools that I got rejected this year for jobs, all have alumni figuring prominently in either leadership or other development).  It’s pretty crazy.  The people seemed great, and I heard that they take care of you in terms of finances.

But you know, not all that glitters is gold.

And I don’t want to be distracted by the name.  By the way, did I mention that Harvard is on the other side of the country?  And I suppose I never really mentioned this in the blog (since this blog isn’t for personal purposes) but, the thought of moving yet again already makes me feel tired.  Yet, I also believe that I can’t simply make comfortable decisions, but decisions that would optimize my current status in life so that I can be better used in the future.

It’s only ten months.  I suppose finding out about the financial package will help out a lot in my decision.  Until then, I will start researching more into the program and see what networking opportunities and classes are available… Life is strange.

This world is empty, pale, and poor / compared to knowing You, my Lord. / Lead me on, and I will run after you.


6 responses to “To be perfectly honest…

  1. yes. my thoughts for you are pretty much your thoughts.

    whatever you decide, let it be for the glory of God!
    ❤ to a gazillion swedish fish nomnomnom
    hehe. what? YES

  2. “But in the same sense, I don’t want to make mistakes.” – Anything is a risk, so even if you do, you can learn from it. That said, I think it’s great that you’re taking the thought and effort to make a careful decision! All of the options you mentioned are great and I’m sure you’ll learn a lot, whatever you choose.

  3. Hey Junia, I saw this thru twitter. I’m sure people have already offered, but if you want to talk to a few of my friends who’ve gone thru HUGSE, and would probably give you an objective opinion, let me know. I’ll put you in touch.
    And hey, debbie downer – congratulations dude.

    • Ha! I realized this entry does sound pretty morose. I think because I never expected to have to think through my decisions. I feel overwhelmed. Reread my statement of purposes for both schools last night and my STEP essay better reflected my current state of mine. (The HGSE essay was kind of a hot mess. It’s rambly).

  4. “…even though it’s big news, education is not my life.” Amen sista.

    That credential sounds really good..I’m sure it’ll come in handy.

    Good luck with your decision making Junia! I know it’s gotta be tough.

  5. Pingback: Congratulations HGSE c/o 2013! | forks and hope, smiles and soap

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