Short Version: Social aspect? What social aspect.
Long Version: Last year was difficult. Had I not been living with roommates (one of whom was extremely chill and available to hang out whenever I was free and was amenable to my interests), I would have shriveled up into an anti-social little ball. This was hard because I’m naturally quite extroverted. This might also be why I’m so connected to my students – almost in a sense, they replaced my social circles, so their pains, their failures, their meanness sometimes especially cut me.
In terms of the *other* social life (ie: love life), that also was pretty nonexistent. To be fair, it was always nonexistent. As an extrovert, I’m great at platonic relationships, but I’m pretty clueless when it comes to anything romantic. Anyway, grad school was the first time I dabbled with the online date-o-sphere, but it was super casual and mainly out of solidarity (with friends who were serious about it). Then last year, at a moment of weakness I tried again (at the urgings of some friends). It ended with no effect. I was too proud to try to put up a decent picture. I didn’t want to cater to what I felt was a cyber-meat-market. I noticed that it fed the narcissism in me in that I liked to find out who I was based on how I presented myself and didn’t care much for the actual men involved.
This year, I’m panicking slightly. And I’ve learned a few things about myself:
1) I contemplate joining online dating websites every time a close friend begins a serious relationship or gets engaged.
2) I am really superficial when it comes to online profiles – and even if a person might be a great match, I can’t handle it if they use words like “foodie”, “hipster”, “artist”, or if their pictures show them being too hairy, large, or skinny.
3) I get picky about how interactions work.
So then ultimately, I get off the site. I think similar to how I stink at phone interviews, I stink at interactions that just aren’t face-to-face. And usually my stints on online sites serve more as a reassurance that I’m not entirely unattractive than as a real way of getting me on the next “step” in life. Also, I watched a few chickflicks (well, not chickflicks: The Truman Show and Good Will Hunting), and ultimately, what I want is a spark. And I think that’s hard to get online.
Anyway, if you’re planning to be a teacher, I’d suggest you find a man ASAP in school. I’m trying to not sound like that crazy Princeton lady … but let me just share: I never understood what people meant by that, and honestly, even at HGSE, it seemed that everyone was just trying to find a love interest. Now that I’m out of both undergrad and grad, I realized, hello, it’s the only place you’ll meet people with similar priorities and drives as you! Oh well. Missed that boat. Time to swim then.